Fire Down Below by Debra Anastasia
Book – Fire Down Below (Gynazule #1)
Author – Debra Anastasia
Publication Date – February 28, 2015
Genre – Humor/Romance
Type – Part of Series
Cliffhanger – Kind of
Rating –5 out of 5 Stars
Complimentary Copy generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
Synopsis
Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.
How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is of to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
My Thoughts - Story
My first thoughts when finishing this story was:
♦♦♦ 5 Poopilicious-Yeasty-Assalanche Stars ♦♦♦
I wanted to die last night when I read the last paragraph....NOOOOOOO Debra!! I so hate you now.
You are a drug which my body craves - this book is ME
Yes, I admit - I am Dove - I am the sharting, klutzy, sex starved embarrassment to woman-kind everywhere. I can fart with the best of them and can't seem to find my filter when it comes to relating everything in life to bodily functions or sex.
I love you Debra for making yesterday one of the funniest days of my life. ♥
Full review to come once I can make sense of this trash!
Now that I have had time to contemplate this utter nutter butter shit…I realize that I would rate it more than 5 sharting stars if I could. This is definitely not what you expect from Ms. Anastasia if you read her Poughkeepsie series. Honestly though, the both do have something in common. I cried while reading both…Poughkeepsie with tears of sadness and Fire Down Below with tears of laughter. The only thing that keeps going through my head is that Ms. Anastasia is a very diversified author. She blows each genre she writes about out of the water!
I had a blast reading this and I am going to leave you with some parting thoughts…
…Don’t read at work (if you are sneaking this)
…Wear a panty-liner or adult diapers
…Don’t take a sip of a beverage while reading. Take a break and remove your eyes from the words!
…Don’t read if you are gassy – you may just get a surprise.
...Wear waterproof mascara
Reason for Reading – Author Request
Story – 5 out of 5 Stars
Steam – 5 out of 5 Stars
Angst – 5 out of 5 Stars
Writing – 5 out of 5 Stars
Content Flow – 5 out of 5 Stars
HEA (Spoiler) – Not going to tell
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